A Day Of Gratitude

I got an email yesterday which had a link to this article
http://www.sedona.com/whatyouhavetobethankfulfor.aspx about a Dr. Robert Emmons who has been studying gratitude and has found that practicing gratitude on a regular and deliberate basis can improve your health, physical fitness, optimism, help you cope with illness, deal with stress and anxiety better, and have better success at achieving your goals, etc.

No wonder I always felt like my life was running smoother when I regularly wrote in my gratitude journal (I'm still meaning to get back into the habit of doing that again).

(Emmons has also written a book called Thanks, which a preview of it can be read here...in fact, I've read just enough that I think I might want to buy it.)


So thankfulness and gratitude aren't just for the day where we bring out the big turkey and all the other yummy stuff. But of course for today I am more aware of taking the time to consider what I am thankful for...

Today I am grateful that for my little sister being able to come down here for Thanksgiving.

I am grateful for a roof over my head. Something that I can take for granted so easily sometimes.

I am grateful for shedding layers of fear, shame, worry, etc. like a reptile or insect might shed its outer skin as it grows.

I am grateful for selling over 200 virtual tea products I created for a virtual world in just two days time. (I know, I'm a nerd.) That's definitely a record. And I am so grateful for the group of women I worked with to make these virtual items we sold in a special promotional event together. To be part of a team that was so supportive and to share in our creative efforts, increase our skills because we had each others input and knowledge shared amongst us, and more.

I am so very grateful that I am overcoming my fear of sewing and of making monumental mistakes when I sew. (I've made three things now...and made monumental mistakes on all three items, but could laugh, smile, or just be at peace about it. Okay, there were times I just got frustrated too, like when I made the same mistake twice, but I didn't blow my head off or turn on the waterworks.)

I am eternally grateful that I opened up my heart to an old high school friend and told her how much she made a Huge positive impact on my life...that she was the catalyst for some of the first real changes I started making in my life. And to see how my telling her so helped her out as well.

I am grateful that I had the energy to make the bathroom all sparkly and shiny, go shopping, and that, even though I was tired, I was able to make my now traditional for Thanksgiving day dessert of panna cotta (an Italian gelatin dessert made with gelatin, heavy cream and vanilla...shown on the left with a raspberry-cranberry sauce), mashed potatoes (that's hard work when you're doing it by hand), and stuffing, and misc. stuff.

I am so grateful that I finally realized how I was badly deficient in magnesium and that now that I've been taking it more reguarly my health is much better.

I am grateful that dealing with negative thoughts also has freed up a lot of energy that had been being channeled towards being tense, stressed, anxious, etc. and so now instead I am less tired than I used to be.

And really...I am thankful for....turkey. How can I not be?


P.S. I wanted to show off our funny little tropical decor twist to our Thanksgiving. We had two kinds of cranberry sauce, rasberry-cranberry and also orange-cranberry, but we didn't want to mix the two kinds up. So we quickly pulled out some little paper parasols and used them to differentiate the two kinds of sauces. :)

Today's Self-Discovery

Being able to admit I am wrong means I am teachable. I am open.

Instead of being rigid and inflexible and uptight, I instead become open, peaceful...and I gain greater understanding than I would have when before I strongly defended my position and therefore was closed off to a better way of seeing, knowing, and being.

Watermill at Onden

"If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Moving, be like water...

Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way round or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend."

~Bruce Lee

The Great Wave Off Kanagawa

Ukyio-e (pictures of the floating world) by Katsushika Hokusai (1760-1849)

Altered Vision

Cool vintage eyeglasses I found while out thrifting.

"To see a thing uncoloured by one's own personal preferences and desires is to see it in its own pristine simplicity." ~Bruce Lee


How do you view the world? Are your "glasses" rose-colored? Green? Brownish-gray? Perhaps a cheerful yellow, like sunshine? Do they make you see sharper or more fuzzy? Can you really be sure that that the glasses you view the world through make things more clear? Do you wear different glasses on different days? Sometimes seeing the world "this" way...and on another day seeing them like "that" instead.

But more importantly than all that...Maybe someday do you think you could discover that you don't need those glasses at all...and you can take them off and really see the world more clearly? Without artifice to tell you what it really is?

From Falling To Pieces...To Finding Peace

So today I thought I'd take on a new project. I've been wanting to learn how to sew. I know the bare basics. But frankly, I've been far too intimidated in the past to have a desire to really dabble in sewing. But today I decided is the day I am really going to do it. I picked out what is supposed to be an easy sewing project too. Should only take an hour or two. But here it is many, many hours later (it's now one in the morning and I think I started at four p.m.)...I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, but it's absolutely, completely obvious that I have *majorly, completely, absolutely* botched the whole thing up. It's a mess and needs to be rescued.

But here's the amazing thing. I'm fine. I'm calm. I am almost totally at peace.

This is unusual.

Before learning effective ways to deal with negative thinking I'd either a) have become a blubbering mess, bawling and crying over my frustration at how confused I am, how messed up my little project is, etc. or b) just frustrated, fed up, and giving up. Or a combination of both. If it were the first thing I'd be worse off than the poor little project I'm working on. I'd have fallen to pieces.

Having worked on negative beliefs such as I shouldn't make mistakes, that making mistakes is bad, I'm an idiot for making mistakes, others will dislike me intensely if I make mistakes (lots of illogical beliefs like this one haunted me in the past), etc. has so I am now instead curious about my current reactions. It's so interesting to see me be calm, when in the past I would have been so extremely upset. My reaction is kind of like, "Hmm, will you look at that. I'm not tearing my hair out, wanting to scream or yell (at myself, the fabric, the sewing machine, or any other person or thing). Well, what do you know."

It's certainly a refreshing feeling. Instead of feeling ragged and raw, I feel instead more like I've been spending a summer afternoon relaxing on a porch, sipping from a tall glass of cool lemonade. (I know, odd analogy since it's fall, but there you have it.)

So cheers! Here's to projects falling to pieces and feeling at peace. :)

Dazzled by Zazzle

Okay, so in an earlier post I was writing about a shirt I made on www.cafepress. Well I decided tonight to start playing around with another online t-shirt site, www.zazzle.com and I have been having sooo much fun there. I still like cafepress, but zazzle is very different.

I took the same image design with the quote "Don't believe everything you think" that I had used at cafepress and put them on a couple things on zazzle (but if you'd like to have that image on other zazzle products I think I have it set up so you can just easily choose what other product you want it on).

But then I created a whole new image..."Once Upon A Slipper" which I've put on a key chain and magnet so far.
And then...I put the "once upon a slipper" image on a pair of shoes! The shoes have to get "approved" first before they can be put up for sale (unlike most of the other stuff). And I think they are so adorable! My first designer shoes! (Yeah, and they're expensive too...so I probably won't be getting a pair myself. I made them mostly for the fun of it.)

Here's a little flash widget thingy showing off the things I've made (I believe it self-updates, so any new things I add will maybe eventually shown on it as well).


create & buy custom products at Zazzle

Okay, I've got to bed...I'm supposed to work in the morning.

Open Source Sewing

I just found the coolest website. I've heard of open source software, and I know the idea of other things being made "open source" but it had never occurred to me to make open source sewing projects. But that's just what this site http://www.burdastyle.com is. Since I've been getting back into sewing (I still haven't done much sewing yet, but the sincere desire to sew is there...something that frankly startles me to find myself interested in sewing), this is a great find.

I've found an eye mask pattern...I've been searching for something like this for a long time! Yay! At a quick glance it apparently it lacks good instructions though. Still, it's a start.

I also found a hand warmers pattern (aka fingerless gloves), which is great since I have poor circulation at at times which leaves my hands freezing even if the rest of me feels just fine. I've done a couple of these in the past that were basically just a tube shape with a hole in the side for the thumb, but this is a better pattern, as it actually has a section for the thumb instead of just a slit in the side.

I also like this simple top and bottoms for nightwear, which the top could easily be used as a tank top/camisole for day wear as well. Even though this is supposed to be an easy project, for me when I start thinking of making anything that's clothing like shirts, dresses, etc, I start telling myself it's really hard and I can't do it. So here's an opportunity to work on some negative thinking again. And back in junior high school for my sewing class I had to make a nightgown, and it turned out just fine...so there's proof that I shouldn't worry so much.

And even though it's of a slightly higher level of difficulty I like this "Azalea" dress. So if I become ambitious enough and brave enough I might try it too.

Vintage Wallpaper & Bingo Card Pockets

I spent some time the other day making these two little "pockets" out of vintage bingo cards on one side and vintage wallpaper on the other sewn together. And lace and other bits and bobs used to create a sort of collage art on both sides of the pocket as well. They have lace handles so you can hang them on a doorknob or anywhere else you can hang things, and then tuck things like love notes or whatever you like inside.

Dream Pocket
The first one is my "dream" pocket hanger. On one side is the bingo card with a "price tag" that says "dream" on it, a rose made of ribbon placed within a slide thing, lace, etc. And on the back side is the vintage wallpaper. Glued to it is a little doily folded in half so it forms a little pocket as well, and it has the word "dream" taken from a dictionary page tucked in it, and a paragraph clipped out of a copy of the Simple Abundance book is pasted onto a cute bit of ribbon with pink roses on it, and the word Dream is written on the wallpaper as well.


Dress: A Reflection of Your Mood Pocket
This next one is my "dress" pocket hanger. On one side is a page from the book Simple Abundance with a quote on it. And just underneath is a scoop shaped pocket made from cute pink, vintage wallpaper. Part of an old children's dictionary with the definition for the word dress has been glued onto the wallpaper. And a little rose made from ribbon is glued on as well. Along the bottom is a fringe of pink pom-poms.

On the back side is a bingo card. With clip outs of words and cute images from an old children's dictionary, a bit of ribbon, and little white flowers.

I had so much fun making these that I'm sure to make some more.

Journey Within

"The only journey is the journey within."
~ Rainer Maria Rilke

I love this photo that my dear friend, Kim Curtis, took of me. It reminds me of the peace I have found when I go within. Whether it's through writing my thoughts down in a notebook or journal, quietly sitting by myself (or with myself as Iyanla Vanzant might say) in quiet contemplation, doing The Work with myself or my friend Mike, or other methods like the Work, spending time with nature, praying, etc. All have resulted in amazing experiences, lessons, discoveries and so much more that have changed and transformed me, helped me to grow and become a better person. It's the best journey I have ever been on.

The unselfishness of giving to oneself?

I sometimes think I am a selfish person because I don't deliberately seek out ways to serve others. In my church serving others is something that is often emphasized. We have service projects to help those in need (and I rarely participate in these). I often hear my friends say when they have been given blessings that they have been told that in order to be happy they should serve others more.

I feel like I spend a lot of my time serving me. And by this I spend a lot of my time working to grow, nurture, and otherwise improve myself.

This morning though it occurred to me that maybe improving myself *is* a way of serving others. Through improving myself I have felt my heart become more open, I have become more calm, less judgmental (I would have said in the past that I was rarely judgmental, but as Debbie Ford has said, the acronym for DENIAL is Don't Even kNow I Am Lying...opening up to the fact that I Am judgmental was the only way to becoming less judgmental), I am more present and in the moment rather than distracted or daydreaming, etc. I think by these changes of becoming a better person I am better able to serve others in small ways perhaps.

Certainly by having my heart more open rather than closed off to others I can be more loving to them.

A calm person is more soothing to be around than a frazzled one...in fact one's own nerves can become more frazzled when around a frazzled person. So perhaps I can give the gift of a calm presence, and help them discover the calm within themselves by simply being calm myself.

Another change in myself resulting from my working to improve myself is I smile more often. And maybe that smile will have an impact on somebody who is having a bad day, and so maybe in that small way I am being of service to them.

I also find it easier to talk to people in the past. In the past I was so "shy" that I often clammed up when people would try to talk to me. I still do sometimes, but less than I have in the past. And I would act uncomfortable because I was. And basically conversations were often short, abrupt, and didn't last very long. But now I feel a lot more at ease talking with people. I can actually Look at them while we are talking, instead of avoiding their gaze. And I can see how a pleasant conversation with someone can really be all that you need in that moment. A little gift that was perfect because it made you smile and feel *connected* with someone when maybe moments before you felt all alone.

I have learned in my life that sometimes the small things mean a lot. And I shouldn't be so dismissive of them. They say the flapping of a butterfly's wings can change the weather pattern in the whole world. The ability to give a smile, a kind word, a presence of calmness...all gained from focusing on one's self...is it really something I should be so dismissive of after all?

And I do have people I know who say things to me like, "You help me out in ways that you will ever know." And as I look on bewildered because I truly have know idea how I am possibly helping them, I also know that they are speaking the truth from their hearts.

So I'll continue to nurture myself and encourage myself to improve and grow...never knowing how these kind acts to myself may also end up leading to becoming kind acts to others. Maybe this form of selfishly serving myself isn't always so selfish after all.

Perhaps ideally I would also go out and do some more obvious act of serving like making a quilt for someone in need, or bake a casserole for someone who is ill, volunteer at some charity, or things like that. But at least I can also be open to seeing the small ways I serve others as well through giving to myself.

I suddenly remembered this story just now, that a friend of mine has posted on her profile of one of those social community websites, and is also often passed around through email.

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. 'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.' The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?' 'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.' 'For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.' Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them. SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!

So I need to remember that I am a crackpot as well and to appreciate the flowers on my side of the path as well.

photo by jellofishy

Once Upon A Suitcase (or two or three)

Okay, so as mentioned in another post or two, I love vintage suitcases. Some may say it's an addiction. It all started with just one. A small one. But that's all it took. I brought it home and put some of those reproduction travel labels on it. And I was hooked...hard.

Since then I've even managed to get one of my friends hooked as well. We have very different suppliers though. I usually get my fix at thrift stores. While she's more uptown and will often get hers from eBay. Although she has bought a few off of me as well.

Yep. I'm not just a vintage suitcase addict...I'm a dealer. I sell them to help pay for my own habit when I need a suitcase fix. Even though they're smaller I personally find the little train cases (also called cosmetic cases) give me the sweetest high when I spy one.

Over to the left you can see a pic where the light is being shed on some of my scandalous suitcase activities. Yes it's the truth caught in pixels by a digital camera. The one's shown here are for sale...by me.

One clerk at the thrift store where I'm a regular, after seeing me buy my fifth suitcase from the store in just a few months time asked me, "What do you do with all of these suitcases again?" Another time when I was leaving the thrift store with one of these suitcase finds even the assistant manager, Dan, mentioned that my behavior...constantly purchasing old suitcases...was very "suspicious."

People see me carrying suitcases, always different ones, from the car and into my home, or from the car and into the store I sell them at and they ask me..."Are you going on vacation?"

I've gone beyond just suitcases though. Other cases catch my fancy as well. See in the pic I posted...the little mini brown suitcase on top and which the lamp is sitting on really isn't a suitcase, It's a barware case (probably had a martini shaker and such in it, for making your drinks shaken, not stirred). But it's cute. Cute!? See what a problem this is for me? Thinking cases are cute? It's a serious problem indeed.

But even worse, you may have seen the rusty old tool box in my previous post too. Yes, my habit has spread to old tool boxes as well. I've managed to keep only one of them at home for myself though. The others I'm trying to sell to other fanatics like me. I met another box and cases addict recently and didn't even have to sweet talk her into buying one of my toolboxes. She looked longingly at another as she left the store. I've seen it before. She's a hardcore case addict. She'll be back.

And though I don't own any myself, I've caught myself looking longingly at old steamer trunks and other old chests. There's even an old cardboard footlocker at the store I sell at with a soldier's name stenciled on it with rusty hinges that taunts me sometimes.

In my own room I have a stack of about five of these babies sitting at the foot of my bed (they store my collection of vintage linens. Ah, the vintage pillowcases, the dozens of them I have...uh, that's another story). The suitcases in my room are all blue...blue is a more common color when it comes to vintage suitcases I have found. Or maybe that's just how it is in Cedar City. Brown ones are more popular sellers. Maybe because they give off a more sepia toned, old world, Hemingway vibe. I save the best stuff for my customers. And keep the more common ones for me. Except now and then when I find a sweet one I just can't let go.

Heed my warning and beware the lure of vintage suitcases.

Don't Vote

Really? ;)

Watch this video. (If you can though don't listen to Borat's last comments at the very end...seriously. Unless you want to hear something perverted...then go ahead.)



My favorite part was the comment about the Baldwin brothers. And hey, was that Will Wheaton?